This Mother's day I thought I would share with you my favorite Mother's day poems or sayings. There were so many to choose from and I did not want this to be a super long post so I chose 3 of the top ones on my list. I hope you all have a Happy Mother's Day!When God Created Mothers
When the good Lord was creating mothers He was into His sixth day of "overtime" when the angel appeared and said, "You’re doing a lot of fiddling around this one."
And the Lord said, "Have you read the specs on this order? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic; Have 180 moveable parts... all replaceable; Run on black coffee and leftovers; Have a lap that disappears when she stands up; A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair; And six pairs of hands."
The angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six pairs of hands... no way."
"It’s not the hands that are causing me problems," said the Lord. "It’s the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have."
"That’s on the standard model?" asked the angel.
The Lord nodded. "One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, "What are you kids doing in there?" when she already knows. Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn’t but what she has to know, and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say, "I understand and I Love You" without so much as uttering a word."
"Lord", said the angel, toughing His sleeve gently, "Come to bed. Tomorrow..."
"I can’t," said the Lord, "I’m so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick... can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger... and can get a nine-year-old to stand under a shower."
The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. "It’s too soft," she sighed.
"But tough!" said the Lord excitedly. "You cannot imagine what this mother can do or endure."
"Can it think?"
"Not only think, but it can reason and compromise," said the Creator.
Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek. "There’s a leak," she pronounced. "I told You. You were trying to put too much into this model."
"It’s not a leak," said the Lord, "it’s a tear."
"What’s it for?"
"It’s for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness and pride."
"You are a genius," said the angel.
The Lord looked somber. "I didn’t put it there."
- Erma Louise Bombeck
And the Lord said, "Have you read the specs on this order? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic; Have 180 moveable parts... all replaceable; Run on black coffee and leftovers; Have a lap that disappears when she stands up; A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair; And six pairs of hands."
The angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six pairs of hands... no way."
"It’s not the hands that are causing me problems," said the Lord. "It’s the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have."
"That’s on the standard model?" asked the angel.
The Lord nodded. "One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, "What are you kids doing in there?" when she already knows. Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn’t but what she has to know, and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say, "I understand and I Love You" without so much as uttering a word."
"Lord", said the angel, toughing His sleeve gently, "Come to bed. Tomorrow..."
"I can’t," said the Lord, "I’m so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick... can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger... and can get a nine-year-old to stand under a shower."
The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. "It’s too soft," she sighed.
"But tough!" said the Lord excitedly. "You cannot imagine what this mother can do or endure."
"Can it think?"
"Not only think, but it can reason and compromise," said the Creator.
Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek. "There’s a leak," she pronounced. "I told You. You were trying to put too much into this model."
"It’s not a leak," said the Lord, "it’s a tear."
"What’s it for?"
"It’s for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness and pride."
"You are a genius," said the angel.
The Lord looked somber. "I didn’t put it there."
- Erma Louise Bombeck
Things my Mother Taught me
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE."If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION."You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL."If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC."Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC."If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT."Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY."Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS."Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM."Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA."You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER."This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY."If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE."I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION."Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY."There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother ! taught me about ANTICIPATION."Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING."You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE."If you don't stop crossing your eyes, They are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP."Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOUR."When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT."If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS."You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS."Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM."When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favourite: my mother taught me about JUSTICE."One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
2. My mother taught me RELIGION."You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL."If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC."Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC."If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT."Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY."Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS."Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM."Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA."You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER."This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY."If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE."I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION."Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY."There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother ! taught me about ANTICIPATION."Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING."You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE."If you don't stop crossing your eyes, They are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP."Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOUR."When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT."If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS."You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS."Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM."When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favourite: my mother taught me about JUSTICE."One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
The meanest Mom!
I have the meanest mom in the whole world…While other kids get candy and ice cream for breakfast,I have to have waffles and fresh-squeezed orange juice.And while other kids are enjoying their PepsiAnd potato chips for lunch,I have to eat a hot “home cooked” meal in the cafeteria.And as you can probably guess, I have to eatA different dinner than everybody else, too.While other kids get to order out for pizza,I have to eat my mom’s homemade spaghettiOr her steak and potatoes and gravy.
My mom is so mean that she demands to knowWhere I am twenty-four hours a day,And whom I’m with and what I’m doing.And if I say I’m gonna be gone for two hours,She actually expects me to be back in two hours or less,And not one minute more (well, unless I call).
What’s worse is, while other kids get to enjoyTheir privacy and spare time,My mom is constantly asking me questions aboutMy “love life”, all my friends, and how school is going,She is so nosy!Sometimes she keeps me up until four o’clock in the morningJust telling me exciting stories about when she was a teenager,Or talking about “girl stiff” like dating and kissing.
But that’s not all, while all the other kids get to stay outUntil two or three in the morning having fun,I have to be home early because I have a mid-night curfew.And while other kids get to sleep in until noon on Saturday,I have to get up early and help clean houseBecause my mom taught me how to wash dishesAnd do the laundry and cook.
As if that’s not bad enough, my mom is so immature!I don’t think she’ll ever grow up.She always wants me to have partiesSo she can hangout with my friends,Who, of course, all love and adore her.In fact, sometimes they go visit herWhen I’m not even there.And when my mom beats me at Checkers,She boast and brags about it to any and everyoneWho will listen for a whole week telling themHow she is the “Checker Champion”.
My mom is so mean that she still tucks me in bed at night,And she is always giving me hugs and kisses in public,And she’s constantly telling me how much she loves meAnd to “remember who I am and what I stand for”.
But perhaps the worst thing about havingThe meanest mom in the whole world is thatI won’t have half the experiences that some kids get…I’ve never shoplifted or sluffed school.I’ve never been arrested or kicked out of a bar,In fact, I’ve never even been in a bar.And I’ve never had to walk the white lineOr go to jail without passing go.And I’ll probably never have the privilegeOr getting to know a probation officer,Let alone having a cellmate for life.
But you want to know a little secret?…I love her,
My mom is so mean that she demands to knowWhere I am twenty-four hours a day,And whom I’m with and what I’m doing.And if I say I’m gonna be gone for two hours,She actually expects me to be back in two hours or less,And not one minute more (well, unless I call).
What’s worse is, while other kids get to enjoyTheir privacy and spare time,My mom is constantly asking me questions aboutMy “love life”, all my friends, and how school is going,She is so nosy!Sometimes she keeps me up until four o’clock in the morningJust telling me exciting stories about when she was a teenager,Or talking about “girl stiff” like dating and kissing.
But that’s not all, while all the other kids get to stay outUntil two or three in the morning having fun,I have to be home early because I have a mid-night curfew.And while other kids get to sleep in until noon on Saturday,I have to get up early and help clean houseBecause my mom taught me how to wash dishesAnd do the laundry and cook.
As if that’s not bad enough, my mom is so immature!I don’t think she’ll ever grow up.She always wants me to have partiesSo she can hangout with my friends,Who, of course, all love and adore her.In fact, sometimes they go visit herWhen I’m not even there.And when my mom beats me at Checkers,She boast and brags about it to any and everyoneWho will listen for a whole week telling themHow she is the “Checker Champion”.
My mom is so mean that she still tucks me in bed at night,And she is always giving me hugs and kisses in public,And she’s constantly telling me how much she loves meAnd to “remember who I am and what I stand for”.
But perhaps the worst thing about havingThe meanest mom in the whole world is thatI won’t have half the experiences that some kids get…I’ve never shoplifted or sluffed school.I’ve never been arrested or kicked out of a bar,In fact, I’ve never even been in a bar.And I’ve never had to walk the white lineOr go to jail without passing go.And I’ll probably never have the privilegeOr getting to know a probation officer,Let alone having a cellmate for life.
But you want to know a little secret?…I love her,
1 comment:
love those!!! Thanks for sharing!!
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